Writer's Block
by Carol Molliniere
Summary: Just a short crackfic of what I normally do when dealing with every author's worst nightmare: Writer's Block.
1. Chapter 1

**Writer's Block**

**By: Carol Molliniere**

**A/N: No, this is not a new fanfiction. This is…WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I COULDN'T DEAL EFFECTIVELY WITH WRITER'S BLOCK!**

**And yeah, I was bored. And I had writer's block. Hopefully this will get me off it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Soul Eater characters here. You know who they are.**

**Warning: May or may not cause severe allergies/crack/explosions. You have been warned.**

One day, I was sitting in my room, trying to write something.

"_Oh, goodness's sake, what the hell am I going to do with this blank page?"_ I thought to myself as I stared at a blank screen.

Right then, my older sister Jenny crashed into my room, yelling, "AWIE!" I looked at her, saying, "That doesn't even make any sense! At all!"

Jenny put her hands on her hips. "No…that would be insult to noodles."

My head ached. _"Damn Writer's Block…"_

"YAHOO!" Black*Star yelled as he burst into my room, breaking down my door. Jenny looked up at him. "Black*Star! What the hell?"

"What do you mean, 'what the hell?'" Black*Star said. "You should be thanking me for gracing the both of you with my presence!" Jenny smiled. "F*ck you."

"You mean more like thanking you for obliterating my door completely," I said as a vein popped in my head. "Black*Star, get out of my room before you make things worse."

"Tsubaki!" Jenny called. "Can you get Black*Star outta here?" Tsubaki came in, nodded, and dragged Black*Star out.

I grunted. "I hate you Black*Star for ruining my day." "I didn't ruin your day!" Black*Star yelled. "I made it perfect!" Jenny sighed. "Once again, f*ck you."

I looked at the ruins of the door. "So…what do we tell Mom?"

Jenny shrugged. "I have no idea."

"…Damn."

"Aw," My OC Timothy Kuroshe said as he appeared out of nowhere. "You sure know how to break doors!"

"I didn't break it, it was Black*Star!" Jenny yelled at him. Timothy just tilted his head. I cringed. "No, seriously, what's gonna happen to us if Mom finds out that someone broke my door?"

"I don't know," Jenny said. Timothy picked up a piece of the door. "Why don't you just put it together with tape? She won't know the difference."

"I CAN'T JUST PUT IT TOGETHER WITH TAPE, YOU IDIOT!" I yelled at him, and all the birds in the vicinity flew away. Jenny whistled.

Timothy's eyes started welling up with tears. " 'Idiot'…? But…you created me!" I glared at him. "I did create you. You're just being an idiot now."

"Man, that just wasn't cool," Soul said, appearing out of nowhere as well. Jenny gasped and glomped him. "Hey, Soul!" she said, getting off of him. "I've been meaning to ask you this. Where do you live so I can move in with you to destroy the molecular bonds which bind your very matter together?" But before Soul could respond, Jenny continued, "But first, I'm gonna have you and Maka marry each other, and then I'll kill both of you and then take your house."

Soul and Maka (who appeared out of nowhere as well) looked scared, and then backed away very slowly. Jenny giggled. "I kid."

Death the Kid flew into the room with his skateboard. "What? Did someone call me here?" he asked. "No," I said. "My sister Jenny just said she was kidding." "Kidding about what?" Timothy, who just had a mental breakdown the moment I told him that he was being an idiot and forgot everything, asked.

I face-palmed. _"Great. Just what I need for my damn Writer's Block."_

"Uh, why isn't there a door here?" Maka asked, gesturing to all the splinters that littered the floor. "Oh, that," Jenny said. But before she could continue, my younger brother Justin (after the dreaded Justin Bieber) jumped into the room through the window.

"Man, it's sure getting crowded in here," Timothy said. "Hello, guys!" Justin said. "I am the great Justin!"

I grabbed Justin and pulled him away from the window. "Hell, Justin, you sound like Black*Star." My brother just gave me one of his weird smiles. One that resembled Black*Star's. I cringed. "I hate you sometimes, my insane brother."

"Uh, can I leave now?" Kid asked, getting ready to go out my window (which Justin had destroyed. Like Black*Star destroyed my door.). But before he could make another move, Jenny glomped him as well (symmetrically). "Hi, Kid. Can I destroy your molecular bonds too?" she asked him in a monotone voice. _"Creepy,"_ I thought.

"What?" Kid asked. "OK, I will do it symmetrically." Jenny said, preparing to tear his molecular bonds out (symmetrically). Soul and Maka were wondering what the hell was going on, Justin was still grinning like an idiot, Timothy started laughing like Kid's weapon Patty, and I was starting to reach the boiling point.

"ARGH! THAT DOES IT!" I yelled. Everyone turned to look at me. My fist clenched, and then I glomped Timothy. "I wanna destroy your molecular bonds too!" Soul and Maka started to look scared beyond belief.

"OK, this is so not cool, I think we're just gonna have to leave now, Maka," Soul said. But then Justin noticed them and yelled to the neighborhood, "HEY EVERYONE! SOUL EATER PEOPLE ARE HERE IN MY HOUSE!"

"Hey, it's our house too," Jenny said, who was busy ripping Kid into 8 symmetrical pieces.

Soon, everyone in my neighborhood was piled up, going to meet Soul, Maka, and Kid. Well, just Soul and Maka, since my sister already had Kid's (symmetrical) molecular bonds destroyed.

"YES! I HAVE DESTROYED DEATH THE KID!" she yelled out, and Kid fangirls rushed into our house. "No!" they said. "We wanted to see Kid too!" "Well, it's too late, fangirls, we saw him first!" I said as I finished off the last of Timothy.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

As we were into the heat of the fight, Mom rolled into the front road of our house. "What the…" she said, noticing the broken window. Then she saw all the people, and honked her horn. "JENNY! CAROL! JUSTIN!" she yelled. "GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!" Then she turned to everyone else. "EVERYONE OUT OF THIS HOUSE!" In a matter of 10 seconds, everyone went out in single file, including a rematerialized Kid, Soul, and Maka. Only me, my sister, and my brother remained.

"I was out of the house for 5 hours, and when I come back, you all throw a wild party and break that window and door as well?" she asked. "You all are grounded!" We pouted, and then Justin, Jenny and I went back to our rooms.

"You know, if it means anything, Carol," Timothy, who had just rematerialized as well, commented, "I think you have a new idea for a story."

I grinned. "Yes. A crack one."

**A/N: So? What did you think? Yes, I know it sounded stupid. But hey, it's a crack fanfiction. So anything can happen. And besides, I wrote this with my sister's supervision. So yeah.**

**And my sister doesn't hate Soul, Maka, and/or Kid. In fact, they're her favorite Soul Eater characters. It was just that when I asked what the first thing she would say to Soul or Kid upon meeting them, she said she would ask if she could tear their molecular bonds apart. So I had to put it down. And so here the dialogue is.**

**I don't own Soul, Maka, Kid, or Black*Star. Justin and Jenny are _not_ my siblings' real names. But Timothy and the story, I own.**

**Review! Or else my brother will bust down your windows and Black*Star will bust down your doors!**


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N: I was hoping that I wouldn't have to update this fanfic…but I did. Writer's Block has just gotten the best of me again.**

**Disclaimer: Soul Eater characters no belong to me.**

**Warning: May or may not cause severe allergies/crack/explosions. You have been warned.**

* * *

It had already been months since the incident in the Molliniere residence where, in the summer, a Soul Eater character (Death the Kid, to be precise) and one of my OCs had been torn apart by my sister Jenny and myself respectively. And the incident also involved a destroyed window, a busted-down door, a wild party, a grounding, and a new story.

And so here I am again, not knowing how to motivate myself to write a new fanfiction.

"Argh…" I groaned to myself. "What should I write? Ever since I finished "The Way I Loved You", I've ran out of inspiration!"

"Well, Carol, you've been into the Inkheart trilogy lately," my most trusted OC, Timothy Luke Kuroshe, suggested. "Why not write a fanfiction about that?"

"How stupid can you get, Timothy?!"

OK, maybe he's not that trusted.

"Do you know what kind of ideas for Inkheart run through my head?" I shouted in Timothy's face, even if he was created to be three years older than me. "Don't you know that I CAN'T EVER COME CLOSE TO WRITING A FANFICTION ABOUT INKHEART THAT'S AS GOOD AS THE ONES I FAVORITED?!"

"But Carol, people do favorite your stories –"

"SO?!" I screamed even louder, so loud that I couldn't hear Jenny yelling from downstairs to keep it down. "They're not good enough! The most hits I've ever gotten on a fanfiction is only around 200! AROUND 200!"*****

Timothy cowered behind the door. "But Carol…"

"No 'buts'!"

"But you used the word 'but' all the time—!"

"I SAID NO 'BUTS'!"

"Meep!"

I looked behind him. There, also cowering behind the door, was a certain pinkette.

"Crona! Are you OK?" I pushed Timothy out of the way and picked up Crona. "Oh, I'm sorry, you must have thought I was screaming at you!"

"No…I'm sorry for appearing out of nowhere!" Crona looked down and grabbed her arm.

"Crona, I don't think appearing out of nowhere is a crime." Timothy tilted his head.

"It isn't?"

I face-palmed. "Anyway, Crona, do you have any ideas on a fanfiction I could write?"

Crona shook her head.

"Well, how about you write a Soul Eater fanfiction?"

"I don't have any ideas, Tim."

Timothy looked down at his clipboard. "Well, maybe we should get you a plot bunny."

"Yeah, a plot bunny always helps me get out of a funk," Lord Death added as he suddenly appeared in the new window my mother added.

"Shinigami-sama, what's a plot bunny?" Crona asked.

"Uh, it's difficult to explain, really."

"Lord Death, I don't have any imagination money to get a plot bunny from the plot bunny shop," I complained, falling onto my bed.

"Never before have I heard such an elaborate figure of speech," Lord Death commented.

"Well, what do you suggest we do, Carol?" Timothy exasperatedly crossed his arms. "You're the author."

"Yeah…maybe I am the author." I tucked my curly hair behind her ear. "What am I to do with this writer's block?"

"PARTY!"

Crona screeched and hid behind the door again.

"Black*Star! What the hell are you doing here?"

"What? I'm trying to add randomness."

"I must admit, though, that this chapter does have a lot less crack than the first one." Lord Death put a large foam finger to his chin.******

"It's only because I don't feel like making anything crack-ish." I rolled over in bed.

All of them frowned.

"I got it!" I sat up, and everyone huddled around me.

"Let's make a Bible fanfiction!"

And all fell down.

* * *

**A/N: * - It's true. I always feel like my fanfictions aren't good enough. Even if it IS 200 hits.**

**** - Lord Death's fingers remind me of foam fingers. Or whatever you call them.**

**And thus, the next Bible fanfiction was born.**

**Hope all you fanfiction writers get out of your Writer's Block (if you have one now)!**


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